Monday, November 2, 2009


It all started one night as I was doped up painkillers, immobile and watching 28 Weeks Later. Even with the percocet, my hip throbbed with pain--I've been diagnosed with trocantaric bursitis, an inflammation of the connective tissues that hold my muscles in place. I sustained this injury as a result of some overzealous laps around our athletic track two years ago, and since then, I have had three injections, two anti-inflammatory drug prescriptions, and endless litanies of OTC Tylenols, ibuprofens and Advil--none of which are covered by my insurance. In desperation, I went to a specialist who recommended physical therapy, which is not covered because it's not considered an accident. Bastards knew I lost the ability to walk and function normally for a little over two years to cheat them out of $100 for the initial and $20 for each subsequent visit. Fortunately, the physical therapist sympathized with my situation (and found my social awkwardness and fear of stretchy plastic bands amusing) and taught me how to do the stretches on my own. While I feel that a fundamental right is being deprived of me, I can't even imagine what it's like for others with worse conditions than my own and those who have no insurance.

As I sat on my couch wallowing in pain and self-pity, it dawned on me: we need to move beyond this us/them, Democrat/Republican partisan dichotomy in regards to health insurance reform because when the zombie apocalyspe comes, we'll need healthy, mobilized (and accomodations for the differently-abled, of course) citizens to stand and fight against the undead menace. How many million Americans don't get regular checkups a year? Or how many million Americans use the emergency room as their primary source for healthcare? Hospitals are a big no-no come zombie apocalypse, as many will be unaware that bites sustained by the infected transfer the virus to your blood, then kill and reanimate you into a mindless nomming machine. For those of us with easily treatable conditions that aren't covered by our insurance companies, how are we to prevent ourselves from desiring braaaaaains if we aren't able to, say, run or hold and utilize zombie skull-crushing weapons? Is it really fair that socioeconomic status determines whether or not you live or die-and-rise-again? We need to come together despite ideological differences in order to secure a better and safer future for America--we need to mobilize, people! MOBILIZE!