Friday, March 6, 2009

Losing My Faith in Humanity One Lap Dance at a Time

This blog began as a rant on why I hate Tila Tequila, but shifted after I joined the Facebook group "Boycott N.E.R.D." I actually hesitated joining at first, because I thought they were probably harmless, and there was no need to make a big feminist fuss about it. Well, upon further investigation, I discovered I was wrong:

You got somethin boys can't deny [here's a hint] / It's like apple pie / Cut ya open and you're just WIDE / You ain't tired / You are the cause of riots who could say no to you? / Wait till they get a load of you /A hundred dollar bills look (at you, at you) / A hundred dollar bills look (at you, at you) / A hundred dollar bills look (at you, at you) / A hundred dollar bills look (at you, at you).

Where to begin. Well, for starters, boys can't deny that those of the feminine gender (I'm hesitant to say 'women' because that connotes personhood) have something they need--because all boys are straight and categorizing them as 'boys' indicates a kind of exploratory sexuality, connoting a variety of experience (and/or partners). Much like apple pie, females are delicious baked goods that are soley for the purpose of consumption (specifically MALE consumption in this instance). And don't forget the intersection of violence and sexuality! 'Cut ya open' implies a forceful opening that is more likely than not, as consentual sex (to my knowledge) does not involve sharp pointed objects (and no, a penis does not count as sharp). Wide has a disturbing connotation to women "wanting it"-- after all, if they're wide open (by sharp pointed intruments or otherwise), they're clearly asking you to sexually violate and degraded them. If she ain't tired, that must mean she's either fucking you like a porn star or she's struggling against you--and although these often get conflated, I think it's contextually safe to suggest it's the latter. Women being the cause of riots makes me think of the devastating effect wars have on women--their bodies are violated as a sign of triumphant victory. What could be better for conquering nations than to spread their victorious seed to the defeated peoples? Wait 'til they get a load of you--'they' being a collective of predatory males and you being a non-being. The final chorus of "hundred dollar bills" is especially disturbing in the video, because it shows women's faces being covered with, well, hundred dollar bills. I wonder what they had to do to get it?

The optimist in me was hoping that this would be the only song in which women were not considered to be people. That, however, was shattered upon discovering Lapdance:

Chicks nick-name me pilot / They get high off my dick / I take 'em to my home, they call it the cock pit / Time for take off, their panties they drop quick / Now that's first class fuckin, and that' some fly shit.

Chicks. As baby chickens made no appearance within the music video, this term was decidedly imposed upon those of the feminine gender. Honestly, I don't even need to do an analysis of this--the words speak for their mysogynist selves. What really disappointed me about this song, though, is when you first go through the lyrics, it sounds like it's politically charged:

It's this society / That makes a nigga wanna kill / I'm just straight ill Ridin' my motorcycle down the streets / While politicians is soundin' like strippers to me / They keep sayin' but I don't wanna hear it...

I wasn't really sure about the strippers part, but I figured it could be something along the lines of them selling themselves out for money. That made a lot of sense to me. However, upon viewing the first, say, ten seconds of the music video, I was sadly mistaken. I don't know that I've ever seen more booty/boob/crotch shots than I have in the first seventeen seconds of that video.

I'd like to end with two lyrics that I find to be particularly intriguing:

Oooh baby you want me? / Well you can get this lap dance here for free.

"Oh, wait, you're sexually attracted to my gyrations and booty shorts? Well, let me just tell you that because I have been socialized to devalue myself by patriarchal media, I will gyrate myself towards and onto you for no charge. See, normally it would cost you, because the only value I hold in society is tied to my sexuality, but because you're oppressed as a black man and because you are a societal rebel you can have this for free."

I am astounded that they are bringing this musical group to campus.

5 comments:

  1. I am infuriated. Completely infuriated. So infuriated that I can't form complete sentences.

    Good thing I now know that I am an apple pie that gets high off penises. Otherwise, I might have gone my whole life thinking I was a person. Thanks, N.E.R.D., you really cleared that up for me.

    I know this isn't what you blogged about, but can we please talk about Tila Tequila? It's hard enough for bisexual females to be taken seriously, you know? I think I told you this already, but she actually has a book. It's titled: Hooking up with Tila Tequila: A Guide to Love, Fame, Happiness, Success, and Being the Life of the Party. I'm sure she has some wonderful insight, even though half the book consists of glossy pictures of her.

    Sorry that my thoughts are all over the place, but the "While politicians is soundin' like strippers to me / They keep sayin' but I don't wanna hear it..." lyrics make sense to me. Maybe he is saying that he doesn't like listening to strippers, but they keep talking to him when he wants them to shut up? Similar to politicians... I think.

    I'll come back to this when I am more awake.

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  2. Sam! That was my comment up there, sorry! I'm using Darren's computer and didn't realize he was signed into his blog account. But I guess now you can read his blog, which is just a bunch of stuff about hardcore music. Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll read your blog. One can only hope.

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  3. Yeah, I feel like Tila deserves an entirely separate blog. I have quite a few thoughts on her "I Love You" video, which as I understand it loosely translates as "I Equate Female Sexual Dominance as Empowerment."

    It infuriates me that "bisexual" (you know the type--fifteen- and sixteen-year-old girls who set their Myspaces to private, have an obnoxious amount of eyeliner which is highlighted by a black-and-white photo of them making a kissy face and their name is spelled out phonetically) women think she's empowering. She. Is. Not.

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  4. If you've read the Sexuality article (that was supposed to be read for Monday but I didn't know that no one else read it so I did anyway), I think you could relate it to all this you're writing about. I was going to do it, but I think I want to blog about eco-feminism first and come back to these ideas if I have time. I'd be thrilled if you wrote about it and I could comment away.

    I like that you brought up bisexuality and "bisexuality". It's infuriating (I keep using this word) because all these girls are calling themselves bisexual to get a guy's attention, without realizing who it hurts. Nothing sucks more than having a crush on someone of the same sex only to find out that she's "more into guys, actually." Or, for the girls (or guys) who struggle with their sexuality through middle and high school, get picked on, or worse. And then all of a sudden it's fun and sexy to be bi? I'm wondering where this double standard is coming from. It's ok to be a bisexual girl as long as you like guys more and only date a girl for a week and take a ton of pictures for your myspace. It's NOT ok, however, to have a real relationship with a woman, because The Gay is icky. Am I making sense, or have I lost it?

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  5. No, I totally agree. I can't even imagine what a struggle non-(touchy-feely) heterosexuals go through as they are bombarded with warped perceptions of sexuality and gender courtesy abstinence-only education. Did we have the same health teacher? I had Mrs. Tracy, who is epic conservative with NO sense of humor. Like at all. Anyway, she brought in a fucking priest (!!) to teach us ninth graders about The Sex. Did you know that men are 90% sexual, 10% emotional, and conversely, women are 90% emotional, 10% sexual? WHAT THE FUCK, SERIOUSLY. The unfortunate thing was, I didn't have the skills to call them out on their bullshit. I wanted to ask about lesbians and gays, and how their respective 180% emotionality/20% sexuality or 180% sexuality/ 20% emotionality fit into Jesus' grand scheme of human sexual relations. But, I didn't. I didn't want people to think I was a lesbian, because I feel that children are being conditioned to see that as a social disease. Oh, and did I mention that women are lollipops? True story. Actually, I think we've discussed this. A woman who has sex before The Marriage is like a used lollipop. I mean, who would want a used lollipop, especially after it's already been licked and put back in the wrapper? Gross! The same goes with women. Delicious, sweet treats that a useless after they've been soiled with another person's saliva (or, in this case, semen--problematic in itself because it assumes heterosexuality).


    As a side note, I also read the Sexuality article for Monday, mostly because I was kind of on a Tila Tequila-induced feminist rampage.

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