Saturday, February 5, 2011

CapitalismSMASH v. Kitten Poster Staring Contest



It's a frustrated thing, this disease, this disorder, because at any given moment I'm at one of two extremes. I can do either ALL the things, or nothing at all. There are days when I can singlehandedly dismantle capitalism, de-institutionalize religion, outlaw patriarchy, read Foucault's "History of Madness" as a backdrop for my comp and run a triathalon; there are also days where my mind and body are so crippled from exhaustion that anything beyond lying in bed and staring at a kitten poster is physically impossible.

Yet there are times of in-between too, times when I am neither crippled nor extraodinary, just average, run-of-the-mill, normal--by my standards, at least. These are the moments I cherish the most, the mundane and everyday. They are also the most hurtful, I think. Hurtful? Painful, I guess, is a better way to describe it. Because I know it will go away and I will be extreme again, I will do everything or nothing, and I will not be a normal girl anymore.

I will be me again.

I will be mad.

And the madness will take its proverbial toll.

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